Dear members of the Republican Party, dear voters of the Republican Party, thank you. Even though I did not show it, I did not expect you to be so intelligent as to elect me as your president again. Dear Joe Biden, dear members of the Democratic Party, dear voters of the Democratic Party, and most important, dear citizens of the United States of America, my heartfelt condolences.
In my last speech I forgot to mention the most important person. I hereby thank myself, Donald J. Trump and I hereby declare myself as the greatest President of the United Stated of America…no actually the whole world, because it is one and the same thing. After being the greatest president of the United States – I mean the whole world. I hereby set the new goals for our great country. As you know, the the Corona virus has brought terrible disaster in our country. It is the cause of rising criminal activities in our country. Shops had to close down, people lost their jobs. But we, fellow Americans, we will still destroy this China virus. So I hereby command the Corona virus to go back where it came from. And then we will built a huge wall in China, so that the illegal virus will never come back to our great country. It will be the Great Wall of China and the Chinese will pay for it – or much better, the corona virus will pay the full amount of the wall. The Great Wall will be so huge, that it will be possible to see it from space. Further more we will build new high tech weapons witch will contain bleach to kill the virus. The big national issue that we have is the racism in our country. I, my self had a lot of black friends. But here is the catch. The emphasis lies on the word “had”. We need to get our original blood back and it needs to be only the native American blood. A big disaster in America is the injustice between men and women. For more than 80 years
American men have lost so many rights in our grate country. By virtue of my office, I hereby declare a new law that the rights of every woman are withdrawn and every American man has the right to grab any woman where they feel like. I know this sounds conservative but this will be the past future of the United States of America. I will bring back your American Dream. No, America will bring back your dream. The American Dream will be brought to you. And we all know what the American Dream is about. You, fellow Americans, you will end up like Toni in Scarface. Just like Al Pacino says: “This country was built on laundered money. I always tell the truth, even when I lie. Say hello to my little friend!“ You will be The Great Gatsby of great America and the the great American Dream. I hereby quote Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” In my last inauguration speech I said, we will build bridges and tunnels and highways. The last person before me who said that, was Hitler. America doesn’t need highways, tunnels and certainly not bridges. There are 21 bridges connecting Manhattan. What America needs is more brain. And I, as your President, will make you, fellow Americans, more brainy again.
We are great Americans. We have the greatest movies. We have the greatest actors. We have the greatest singers. We have the greatest stars. We have the greatest weapons. We have the greatest military. We have the greatest country. We have greatest numbers of infections and deaths concerning the Corona virus. We have the greatest numbers of school shooting. And fellow Americans, you have have the greatest president of the United States of the World. Thank you, me, my self, Donald J. Trump.